Marvel God Story 1
by Swamp Thing
Summary: Marvel God Has An Almost Stan Lee-Like Cameo As The Riddler In Marvel God's New Marvel God Film Which Marvel God Has Named "Alfred E. Neuman And Frank Miller Take a Break From Their Aggressive Festival Of Anal Sex To Look Outside Of Their Literal Apartment Window To See Alan Moore And Dave Gibbons Climbing A Batrope On Their Way To Rescue Harvey Pekar From A Crazed Spider-Man."


Marvel God Has An Almost Stan Lee-Like Cameo As The Riddler In Marvel God's New Marvel God Film Which Marvel God Has Named "Alfred E. Neuman And Frank Miller Take a Break From Their Aggressive Festival Of Anal Sex To Look Outside Of Their Literal Apartment Window To See Alan Moore And Dave Gibbons Climbing A Batrope On Their Way To Rescue Harvey Pekar From A Spider-Man Who Has Become Intoxicated By His Own Spider Powers."

So, for the moment, I am Spider-Man, as though if I were a clone I would be Ben Reilly, you see, and because I am Spider-Man currently, I am currently standing in a New York City alley when I see my good friend, Batman, come down on a rope, a Batrope, I assume, and I of course assume this because he is Batman, and that is why he has Batstuff and he tells me, Spider-Man, he tells me in a strange combination of a Christian Bale growl, an Adam West pause and a bugging out of his Michael Keaton eyes, Spider-Man, he says to me, I need your help and it is not just me who needs your help, Spider-Man, but it is the entire Justice League, and it is not just your help that we in the Justice League need, Spider-Man, but we indeed the help of every single one of The Avengers. And I look at him, his Christian Bale growl hanging in the air as it sits there left by its Adam West pause, his giant Michael Keaton eyes looking into mine and I tell him that I thought he was the lone wolf and laughs and looks back at me and says that sometimes it is good to run with the pack and I smile back but you can't see it because of my Spider-Man mask but I was smiling at his George Clooney honesty, and I told him kindly that I was just on my way to the How It Should Have Ended Diner to have coffee with Rorschach and Deadpool and with a twinkle in my eye that can only be brought out by Val Kilmer I informed him he could join me, and that Superman, who had been standing there all along, could come too. I did not tell you until just now that Superman had been there all this time, because I wanted it to be a surprise, but, in fact, Superman was there even before Batman got there and he and I had been talking about that time he shook my hand before we battled Lex Luthor and Dr. Octopus together and how much it hurt when he did shake my hand because Earth's yellow sun made his handshake way more powerful than that of the people in the Electric Company whose hands I am accustomed to shaking. So we are sitting there having coffee, myself, The Caped Crusader, The Man Of Steel, Alan Moore's sick parody of Mr. A, myself and Deadpool, being followed by his voices. And after quite a few shots of creamer, it is decided that with our powers combined, we may not be able to form Captain Planet, but we can almost without a doubt have a bake sale that will sell more blondies than the Legion of Doom Delicatessen Sandwich Sale could ever possibly sell Dagwoods. So we get Wonder Woman on the phone and ask her if she wants to bake some blondies for us because she is a woman and she hangs up right away because of our sexist attitudes, and so we call Green Lantern of the Golden Age because he is one gay homosexual, so of course he will want to bake for us, but he is busy fighting Solomon Grundy in a hot dog eating contest which makes us giggle because a gay dude in a hot dog eating contest looks a lot like a gay dude sucking cock, and a gay dude sucking cock is always hilarious, even after a tilt-o-whirl in the rain. Those laughs completed, we realize that the Silver Age Green Lantern could just will baked goods into existence, so we get him on the phone, but the problem is blondies are too similar in color to the color yellow which is his weakness and even though it is not exactly the same, it is close enough to present a problem. So we find out from Batgirl in her wheelchair on the lap of Dr. X, not the one who built a creature, but the one for whom the mutants whom society calls creatures are the pretty, pretty boys he calls friends informs us that The Penguin and The Kingpin are like bff now and they are opening their own beach casino in the shrunken city of Kandor which will cater almost exclusively to shrunken Kandarian demons of Kandor and their candor is rather rude, because they are gangster which they have recently informed me feels damn good, but I think it probably feels damn bad because evil is bad and bad is evil. Anyway, Batman had met Kingpin before and for that matter so had Ashley J. Williams when The Punisher wolf gang killed them all, ignoring the fact that there were zombies outside and I do not mean the Rob kind, but the kind that will rob you of your brain. It became clear that despite the complicated copyright issues, there was a very real possibility that The Penguin and Kingpin were both to be involved with the Legion Of Doom Delicatessen Sandwich Sale. This was especially likely when you consider the fact that they were opening a casino on the beach, which is a place where it is impossible to starve because of all the sand which is there. Meanwhile, at the Hall Of Doom, we reach my part of this story, because, as the title of this little song suggests I, Marvel God, do not play the role of Spider-Man, I play The Riddler, so riddle me this, how much wood would get stuck in a baked good baked by Alan Scott and could he eat it if he is weakened by wood, which is to ask would the damaging powers of the wood bake out like alcohol in a rum cake?


End file.
